Mirror mirror on the wall, why are there 8 dwarfs?

I’m a born critic. I have absolutely no qualifications to back my claim, but that’s never stopped me before. My forte tends to be feminist and political rants, but tonight my glass of Sav and the film critic certificate I’ve just made and printed assure me that I’m more than qualified to do a film review. The target: Snow White and the Huntsman.

Now right off the bat, I want to say that I quite enjoyed the movie. It’s visually stunning and has a Tim Burton ‘Alice in Wonderland’ aura to it. The Evil Queen’s costumes are fabulous; think Lady Gaga minus the raw meat and with some dead raven. And of course, Chris Hemsworth as the Huntsman is a highlight. Not because he plays the role particularly well or his character is appealing; but just because it’s pretty much another portrayal of Thor and frankly I see nothing wrong with that.

It’s refreshing to see two powerful female characters go at it rather than just have the men fighting. However, the suggestion that Kristen Stewart as Snow is ‘fairer’ than Charlize Theron had me asking ‘mirror mirror on the wall, who is your manufacturer and where do I go to make a complaint?’
But alas, I’ve come to the realization that contrary to the original where it’s just an auspicious beauty contest, Snow White and the Huntsman actually promotes inner beauty. What makes Snow fairer is what’s inside her, her humility and humanity. However, why they chose to cast Kristen Stewart as this champion of humanity is beyond me. Stewart doesn’t have the emotional spectrum to pull off the role (mainly due to her having the same facial expression regardless of what emotion she’s trying to convey). She does however deliver a respectable Mel Gibson impression in front of her infantry and has excellent eyebrows. Additionally, the connection between her and the Huntsman is believable, but that’s probably more to do with Chris Hemsworth being able to have chemistry with a pot plant than anything else.
Charlize Theron on the other hand was badass as Ravenna the Evil Queen. Melodrama was her default mode and despite the fact it’s probably easier to stick it to the patriarchally by going grey and running for medieval dictatorship presidency, her bipolar mix of iron goddess and unhinged harpy was brilliantly executed.

One of my major problems with the movie however was the eight dwarfs (or to be politically correct ‘little people’). That’s right. Eight. Not seven. Eight.
Why were there eight dwarfs little people you ask? Excellent question! I’ve been asking myself the same thing for the past hour. Aside from annoying the audience and having everyone count the dwarfs little people under their breath every time they pop onscreen I didn’t see the point in adding an extra one. Admittedly, this probably wouldn’t boggle the minds of normal people, but I found it just plain frustrating.

The rugged, drunken, bad boy Huntsman portrayed by Hemsworth meant that I was always going to see the movie, but surprisingly I actually enjoyed it. It’s not a film that will blow your mind or be overly memorable, but if you’re after a few hours of escapism into fairytale land then I’d definitely recommend it. And did I mention Chris Hemsworth?

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One thought on “Mirror mirror on the wall, why are there 8 dwarfs?

  1. Finally! I’ve been waiting for someone to mention this! It was most likely just so they could get away with killing one off.

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