WHAT DO WE WANT?
WHEN DO WE WANT IT?
Right now, my to-do list is the size of a football field. And it’s full of ‘important’ things I should be doing. Like my taxes. Or packing up my life into boxes to move house. Or organizing the boring details of my trip (who actually ‘needs’ insurance?) I leave in less than a month and have nothing more than a ‘vague’ idea of where I’m going. And by ‘vague idea’ I actually mean ‘no idea’. You see, I really need to get onto doing something about my current situation. But I don’t wanna. All these things are annoying and get in the way of my life. I’m a baby wrapped up in a 21 year olds body. All I want to do is get up whenever the hell I want to, do whatever I feel like during the day then go to bed at a completely unreasonable hour and complain throughout the whole ordeal. Is it really so much to ask for!?
So rather than starting to check off things on the giving-me-anxiety list. I’m going to list what I’d rather be doing right now. After all, I deserve a break after spending the last hour painstakingly comprising my to-do list.
Sleeping, whilst one of my all-time favorite activities it’s never something I want to do when I’m supposed to. Ie. at 2:30am on a Monday night, I’d rather stay up and watch 5 episodes of Breaking Bad in a row than sleep. But the second I have to do something odious; like wake up in the morning, sleep is the only thing I can think of. Likewise, when I have to head off to work, sleep is the only thing on my mind.
Or more accurately, refreshing the wordpress dashboard to see how many people have viewed my page or liked my post (if you’re reading this, please shoot me through a ‘like’. Refreshing the page 100 times and having no statistics change is frustrating. And will probably break my computer. And is the definition of insanity). But I digress. Why bother going out to the post office to pay bills when you can bitch about them online? Or why bother going out to buy groceries, when you can better spend your time writing witty posts about your inability to cook.
3. Looking at pictures of Ryan Gosling
I have some flawless logic for you now so get ready:
If the universe wanted me to be productive it wouldn’t have created Ryan Gosling. It also wouldn’t have created the internet. Or pictures. And it sure as hell wouldn’t have put easily accessible pictures of Ryan Gosling on the internet. The universe (and Google) are conspiring against me.
There. Logic. Boom! It’s not my fault I’m unproductive. It all makes sense.
4. Watching Parliament Question Time
Yup, unfortunately I’m being serious here. It’s an incredibly good way to pass time. And what’s more, you feel like you’re being productive and smart as you’re watching it. Thus it’s a guilt free procrastination tactic. Parliamentarians are possibly the only people slower and less productive than me, leaving me with a feel-good-feeling every time I watch them ‘debate’ something.
Plus (as if I hadn’t already convinced you) question time is comedy gold. Once you get over the fact our Parliament is for the most part an absolute waste of time, our tax payers dollars are going to fund nothing, the leaders of our country spend more time attacking each other than the issues and you stop fearing for the fate of our nation and humanity you start to see the lighter side of it all.
5. Deciding the names of my future children
Now Mum, don’t fret, I don’t want children any time soon. But I’d like to be prepared for when I pop them out, name them, then handball them onto you to raise for the rest of your life. Again, I blame google. So many sites have popped up with baby names. It’s only reasonable that I’m going to go on them and spend hours naming my unborn babies. My top 3 names for boys and girls are:
Boys: Oliver, Nicholas, Luca
Girls: Lara, Ella, Leila
Now, I know what you’re thinking. Ryan should probably have a say in what his kids are called too. But he has a big say in their surname given I will gracefully concede that battle and allow them to be Goslings. So I think it’s fair I get to chose their first names.
6. Learning a new language by watching SBS World News without subtitles.
I’m a big fan of different languages and foreign accents. They excite me. I’m feebly learning Russian at the moment. Watching Russian news in the morning I feel really helps with my pronunciation (this is a complete lie, but it isn’t going to stop me pretending it’s vital for my Russian education.) And once again, I’m being quasi productive and smart whilst procrastinating. It’s genius.
7. Looking at someecards
Yup, I’m a sucker for someecards. Who needs to spend time and effort being witty when you can just memorize the one liners on that site? Or shamefully use an ecard to add humor to just about every blog post (guilty as charged). I can spend hours on that site doing ‘research’. It’s contribution to my IADD (Internet attention deficit disorder) has been staggering. Here are some oldies but goodies:
But at the end of the day, do you know what would be better than doing all these things? Writing about doing them all. And look, I did and something got done! I can now add and cross off ‘write blog post’ on my to do list. Now to actually do something productive…Ugggh