2013 Election Night Drinking Game

Today we participated in democracy and rewarded mediocrity. So tonight, lets sit back and prepare to learn the results the only way Australians know how; with copious amounts of booze. The rules are pretty simple:

Take a fair dinkum suck of your sauce bottle every time:
-K Rudd is seen taking a ‘selfie’
-Tony Abbotts daughters are on screen. One drink per daughter
-Indi, Eden-Monaro or Griffith are mentioned
-Kevin Rudd says ‘folks’, ‘mate’ or mentions that he’s from Queensland
-The phrase “democracy in action” is used
-Christopher Pine is on screen
-An anchor stalls awkwardly for time
-Western Sydney is referred to as a “key battle ground”
-A seat is considered “too close to call”
-Julie Bishop stares at something
-The carbon tax is mentioned
-A three world slogan is used
-Clive Palmer tells us he’s Australian, twerks or mentions dinosaurs
-Someone at your election party threatens to move to New Zealand
-Malcolm Turnbull looks like he still can’t believe Tony Abbott is his leader
-A poll is mentioned
-Bob Katter tries to say something smart
-K Rudd gives a speech that goes 20 minutes too long
-An animated representation of the house of reps gives us no new information at all
-Annabel Crabb makes a cooking related pun
-Nobody from the Liberal party remembers their six point plan

And lastly:

-Do a shot when a former Prime Minister weighs into the debate and offers absolutely no relevant insight.

-Do two shots when a Palmer United Party member wins a seat.

-Do three shots when the final announcement is made. Hopefully by then you’ll be too drunk to care that we either have a Prime Minister who refers to the conflict in Syria as “baddies v baddies” or one whose own party consider him to be the ultimate ‘baddie’.

Advertisements